my life is complicated yet it's so normal
Friday, March 29, 2024
Iza yg bodo dipagi jumaat
Wednesday, March 27, 2024
I am kind, but don't make me insincere
I always knew I am kind with my friends. I always tried to help them whenever possible. I don't mind buying them foods, lending them money, taking them out for meals, give them gifts, etc etc...things that you don't mind doing for your friends. And I hate it if my kindness is being taken for granted.
For example during my primary school, there was this 1 person named R.A, she was poor, and she always borrowed my money, 20cents, 50cents, 20cents again. She borrowed, but never pay back. Then another day she would came to me again asking to borrow another cents. Firstly I didn't mind lending her money cuz I knew she was poor, but when she took advantage of that, cuz I never asked for my money back cuz I pitied her, she kept on coming back to me asking for money, everyday... I hate her, but I never told her that. I had to pretend I was sleeping during recess because I didn't want her to come begging for money. I just didn't know how to turn her down. I am that stoopid.
And then my story with N which I shared before, Im paying, Im the one doing anything, I can't help but felt I am being taken advantage of.
And now my work place, there is this one person, lets call her L, I feel like she is my friend, and she also consider me as close friend. She did once told me her bedroom story with which I was super shocked because usually normal casual friend don't really share bedroom stories like that, and maybe she saw I was taken aback by her story, she never bring her bed story anymore.
Friday, March 22, 2024
We have our own demon inside
Things are quiet boring at the office. No work to be done, no report to be rushed, no people to bother. The only thing I can do every morning coming to the office is sit down, start the pc, login into SQL, and paint my nails 😂 so bored.
There is rumor going around hot right now, but only several people know. About June and Shah, their scandalous affair. Both are known to have bf/gf, but they were seen together in private several times. And it is a gossip because, it involves something more than just typical scandal/secret dating. It might also involve khalwat scenario, maybe?
Usually I like hearing juicy gossip, like you know for example, gossip about Ms Hen where everyone hates her. Oh, when you hear people trash talking her, you feel joy and happy because you are a psychopath who loves to hear how teruk someone is, and that is because Ms Hen is not my friend. And then there is also gossip about Pidah and her enormous tetek which is the favorite of many foreigners, and her triage scandal involving Eamy and one foreigner. Oh, what a bliss hearing those gossip out. Then comes Shah, who is not my friend and I barely know Shah, however I consider June as friend, and hearing those gossip about them make me feel guilty. Should I feel joy? Thrilled? Happy cuz its juicy? Or should I just totally mind my own business? Should I tell June about the gossip? I don't know, I am blanked everytime I think about it. Part of me said, don't bother, this is none of your business, other part of me said, tell him this Puncak Alam area is hotspot orang tangkap khalwat, so June should be careful, and then tell that Shah is actually seeing someone while having affair with June.
Hurmmm... maybe I just mind my own bussiness. It's not my problem, I and June not really close btw...Let them have their demon, while I keep mine, hidden 😐