arie2 yg mendtg dpt kurasakn kebosanan yg akn memuncak menjadi 1 kegilaan + kestressan

en. ashaari told me dat he is up to starting part time business wit his member....he oredi started meeting wit his fren on 7th Oct....and his meeting is after his full time job, which is the time we usually texting wit each other...
and the future ongoing business is also during that time too...n of course would consume his only once in a week day off too...

..........

usually after he went home, we wud text wit each other until we sleep...and usually when he has a day off we wud go on a date... n now those limited time wud all be consumed by his part time business. am i jealous...? no...im just afraid dat he wud be too busy wit his part time business n totally ignoring me...leaving me alone all nite n all weekends...it's not impossible...men work like a machine once they set their minds into it...

im in a dilemma...sud i cheer 4 him n let him do wat he wants wit his time, while i'm being left alone n lonely....? or sud i just texting him n dating him like usual though i kno wat he wants to do wit his time...? i can't decide...rite now i kno it is crucial 4 him since it is the starting of his business so i let him be wit his fren n meetings n i do give a moral support to him (n i oredi feeling the emptiness)...da question is, how long can i stay on like dis...?

man, do u really get me? i need him la....i want to text him evryday....1 2 3 4 hours a day n date him all sunday.....!!! i want to spend time wit him!!! i dun want to be left alone...feeling bored wit no thing to do....wat am i suppose 2 do b4 go 2 sleep?? wat wud i do on sunday??? what what what...??? my life wud be boring...it is da same as not having boifren after all....

i think i am being a bit selfish...i dunno...let just wait n see wat will happen...hopefully all those fears dat i imagine won't come true...

wat fears...?
~ he won't hev time 4 me...
~ he wud totally absorbed into his works n forget about me...
~ he wud be a huge success in his carrier n started chasing money more n more... (there's a pepatah dat i made up myself...'once u love money, u won't love anything else'...hopefully it won't be like dat 2 him)
~ he wud be seduced by any woman... T_T
~ there's still lots of fears but i just can't shout it out loud cuz i can't find da rite words..

will dis only be in my memory...?